Have you ever been through one of those phases, when you invariably develop an emotional attachment with someone, you didn't want to or rather lets say suffered the consequences of it, and then realized your emotional attachment in the very first place and blame yourself for having it let come your way.
Things that are very trivial seem have an enormous impact when you are emotionally attached to someone (really). But the main question then arises is whether or not you should even indulge in such attachments. Or break away from it once you realize its induced imbalance.
So, who is to be blamed ? I blame myself of course. 'Cause the other person hasn't the slightest idea of what you think, feel or expect. Okay, now I do claim that I am a happy-to-lucky, chilled out person (which the readers might not agree to, because I happen to write this article, but lets assume yourself to be one) but doesn't that point ever come like the saturation limit ? Like shut-the-fuck-up.
Yes, I have been through those moments, although most of the times I take it in a light manner, as a joke, try to ease things up, lighten it out, smile and forget all about it. But seriously, I do have "shut-the-fuck-up" moments. Now, my reaction is something that is not said at any point of time because I'd rather keep disconcerting thoughts to myself, else I'd ruin the relationship. But seriously, sometimes you just need to vent out.
Let me give you some very simple examples: Me and two of my best friends were talking about where we'll be after college, planning out some improbable situations like staying in the same home etc, but as an understatement it went, that no matter how many years pass by, we will keep in touch. And suddenly at that very moment, one the best friends speaks up that we will be out of touch and never meet again, and won't be friends after college anymore, because such has been her experience and that which cannot change. Although you are stumped and think the person is joking when she first said that. But after several such incidents when you realize that, that this friend is actually serious, my reaction : Shut the fuck up. Yeah dude, it was me who was fucked up in my head to even imagine best friends can last forever. I know, its my problem, chill.
When you try your best to make someone smile, but all you get a sympathetic nod or a spaced out alien face who is least bothered what you have to say, my reaction : Shut the fuck up. Yeah dude, I forgot I should have bothered myself with more important issues of the world like neturino astronomy etc. I know, its my problem, chill.
When you are constantly stalked by people you don't want to talk to or have anything to do with whatsoever and haven't even replied to any of the person's texts 'cause you got tired of telling the person to get off your back, my reaction: Shut the fuck up. In what language am I supposed to tell you, GET OFF MY BACK, and stop stalking ! But wait, I think its my mistake, why did I even think stalkers would stop stalking. I know, its my problem, chill.
When you try and get touch with your past best friends, and realize that things didn't change, you two were as excited as old days again, only to later know, that it was only a moment's revival, because the other friend although promises to call back, says had been messaging on the wrong number all the while (which melts your heart and you trust the person again.) But the call never comes... My reaction: Oh, really Shut the fuck up. Why do I even care to trust people who have seem to have been preoccupied with better things in life. Yea, I know its my problem, chill.
When you hardly have time for anything (sleeping included), but because of the invariability of emotional attachment, you happen to stack up one of your friends top in the priority list, and hardly talk to anyone else so often and replies to the person's messages are mostly instantaneous, but when your messages are met with replies delayed for hours. (Not that delayed messages are unacceptable, because body mechanisms such as sleep, natural calls are not really controllable and during college hours ganged up with friends and lectures, its impossible to text.) But a constant delay messages, because you were buying a shirt online or setting up your bag (ok, maybe you could atleast inform if that kept you so busy) while I am editing an abstract that includes particle accelerators yet replying because it hardly takes some seconds. Well, my reaction: Shut the fuck up, its all cool when messages are delayed for valid reasons, but sometimes it just exceeds that saturation limit, really and no amount of sorrys can undo because sorry itself loses its meaning, you know. Oh, but wait, I think its my problem, having expectations from someone who never really posed such expectations, or thinking about someone so much when that person hasn't the slightest inkling of what you go through or think. So yea, its my problem, chill.
When you are all cool with being friends with your ex, only to suddenly realize (as simple as in the middle of a random post), why the person could never apologize for those accusing lines he'd blasted off at you for no reason at all. But then you know, exactly why you broke up, my reaction: Shut the fuck up, or rather, fuck, why am I even friends with him ? -.- But then I know, these are just passing moments and there's no need to dig them out now. I know, its my problem, chill.
When you open fb, and your newsfeed is bombarded with status updates of an overtly emo (to the extension, sick) guy who either laments his loss of beloved or meeting her again the very next second. (It surprises you, which world does he really lives in, maybe parallel paradoxical universes at the same time.) Or those fb statuses which are rather a diary entry about what you ate, who you slept with, what's the amount of shit that came out of your asshole (maybe an exaggeration, but quite so.) Oh, but whatever, Shut the fuck up people. Oh really sorry, I forgot, I am trapped in a world that's choked in its own personal web and barely beyond, who am I to even speak. I know, its my problem, chill.
When a class 7th kid claims to hate science, while the very keyboard through which he typed is because of science, his own cognitive process of brain is because of science, he is living and was taken out of his mothers womb safely because of science. Its like an immature calf, running around a grazing ground and claiming to hate the grass he feeds on. I agree, you could detest the methods of teaching, but hate science ? Where did that come up from ? Shut the fuck up dude. Or maybe its just me, who fails in understanding that today, with dumbfucked minds who fail to question and curiosity is a deep buried feeling at the age of 3, it is impossible to for anyone to know what science is. I know, its my problem, chill.
When people say there's no point in living beyond 60, sure, dude, I don't even see the point of your living at any other age either in that case. If you live only to earn, party, earn for kids and retire, that sounds like another duty hanging over your shoulders. The point of living seizes to exist, when you stop living your life, be it 20, 30 or 60. I can only urge you to find your own meaning of life, find what drives you everyday, no, not your crush or parents or anyone else, but your dream of being someone who can make a difference. What would your dream or aspiration be ? A fading dust particle in the sands of time, or the one whose castle lasted enough to light the hearts of many. And when you give me an argument, you don't see anything so bright, all I can do, is give you a patient smile, in hope you'd find your answer. But when you become adamant in your own side of argument without the other person's perspective, well, Shut the fuck up, because sometimes you just don't live for your own selfish existence, there are others roped in with you. But maybe it is really my problem, claiming such ideas in the first place. So chill.
In this exponentially expanding universe, and the limitless mysteries that lie deep within and you haven't even begun to scratch the surface of it, let alone even science, not even tried sketching, painting or developing a new skill, enrolling for a course, writing articles, how can you even be remotely BORED ?!?! But wait, I really forgot everyone is so busy being bored, that I am the very stranger who claims being bored is an impossibility. I know, its my problem, so chill.
Now, why did I even end up writing this ? Well, because I went through one of my Shut-the-fuck-up moments again. Is it bad ? Nope, not at all. It helped me type an article I can always review time and again and allow myself to chill in the very end :P
Because life isn't just about you and me,
And our electrons aren't in the same energy level and never will be,
We can never feel the same way,
And I don't blame you in anyway..
Its now time for me to Shut the Fuck up,
Because I know its my problem,
Just gotta chill :P
