I know its my problem, chill.

Have you ever been through one of those phases, when you invariably develop an emotional attachment with someone, you didn't want to or rather lets say suffered the consequences of it, and then realized your emotional attachment in the very first place and blame yourself for having it let come your way.

Things that are very trivial seem have an enormous impact when you are emotionally attached to someone (really). But the main question then arises is whether or not you should even indulge in such attachments. Or break away from it once you realize its induced imbalance.

So, who is to be blamed ? I blame myself of course. 'Cause the other person hasn't the slightest idea of what you think, feel or expect. Okay, now I do claim that I am a happy-to-lucky, chilled out person (which the readers might not agree to, because I happen to write this article, but lets assume yourself to be one) but doesn't that point ever come like the saturation limit ? Like shut-the-fuck-up.

Yes, I have been through those moments, although most of the times I take it in a light manner, as a joke, try to ease things up, lighten it out, smile and forget all about it. But seriously, I do have "shut-the-fuck-up" moments. Now, my reaction is something that is not said at any point of time because I'd rather keep disconcerting thoughts to myself, else I'd ruin the relationship. But seriously, sometimes you just need to vent out. 

Let me give you some very simple examples: Me and two of my best friends were talking about where we'll be after college, planning out some improbable situations like staying in the same home etc, but as an understatement it went, that no matter how many years pass by, we will keep in touch. And suddenly at that very moment, one the best friends speaks up that we will be out of touch and never meet again, and won't be friends after college anymore, because such has been her experience and that which cannot change. Although you are stumped and think the person is joking when she first said that. But after several such incidents when you realize that, that this friend is actually serious, my reaction : Shut the fuck up. Yeah dude, it was me who was fucked up in my head to even imagine best friends can last forever. I know, its my problem, chill.

When you try your best to make someone smile, but all you get a sympathetic nod or a spaced out alien face who is least bothered what you have to say, my reaction : Shut the fuck up. Yeah dude, I forgot I should have bothered myself with more important issues of the world like neturino astronomy etc. I know, its my problem, chill.

When you are constantly stalked by people you don't want to talk to or have anything to do with whatsoever and haven't even replied to any of the person's texts 'cause you got tired of telling the person to get off your back, my reaction: Shut the fuck up. In what language am I supposed to tell you, GET OFF MY BACK, and stop stalking ! But wait, I think its my mistake, why did I even think stalkers would stop stalking. I know, its my problem, chill.

When you try and get touch with your past best friends, and realize that things didn't change, you two were as excited as old days again, only to later know, that it was only a moment's revival, because the other friend although promises to call back, says had been messaging on the wrong number all the while (which melts your heart and you trust the person again.) But the call never comes... My reaction: Oh, really Shut the fuck up. Why do I even care to trust people who have seem to have been preoccupied with better things in life. Yea, I know its my problem, chill.

When you hardly have time for anything (sleeping included), but because of the invariability of emotional attachment, you happen to stack up one of your friends top in the priority list, and hardly talk to anyone else so often and replies to the person's messages are mostly instantaneous, but when your messages are met with replies delayed for hours. (Not that delayed messages are unacceptable, because body mechanisms such as sleep, natural calls are not really controllable and during college hours ganged up with friends and lectures, its impossible to text.) But a constant delay messages, because you were buying a shirt online or setting up your bag (ok, maybe you could atleast inform if that kept you so busy) while I am editing an abstract that includes particle accelerators yet replying because it hardly takes some seconds. Well, my reaction: Shut the fuck up, its all cool when messages are delayed for valid reasons, but sometimes it just exceeds that saturation limit, really and no amount of sorrys can undo because sorry itself loses its meaning, you know. Oh, but wait, I think its my problem, having expectations from someone who never really posed such expectations, or thinking about someone so much when that person hasn't the slightest inkling of what you go through or think. So yea, its my problem, chill.

When you are all cool with being friends with your ex, only to suddenly realize (as simple as in the middle of a random post), why the person could never apologize for those accusing lines he'd blasted off at you for no reason at all. But then you know, exactly why you broke up, my reaction: Shut the fuck up, or rather, fuck, why am I even friends with him ? -.- But then I know, these are just passing moments and there's no need to dig them out now. I know, its my problem, chill.

When you open fb, and your newsfeed is bombarded with status updates of an overtly emo (to the extension, sick) guy who either laments his loss of beloved or meeting her again the very next second. (It surprises you, which world does he really lives in, maybe parallel paradoxical universes at the same time.) Or those fb statuses which are rather a diary entry about what you ate, who you slept with, what's the amount of shit that came out of your asshole (maybe an exaggeration, but quite so.) Oh, but whatever, Shut the fuck up people. Oh really sorry, I forgot, I am trapped in a world that's choked in its own personal web and barely beyond, who am I to even speak. I know, its my problem, chill.

When a class 7th kid claims to hate science, while the very keyboard through which he typed is because of science, his own cognitive process of brain is because of science, he is living and was taken out of his mothers womb safely because of science. Its like an immature calf, running around a grazing ground and claiming to hate the grass he feeds on. I agree, you could detest the methods of teaching, but hate science ? Where did that come up from ? Shut the fuck up dude. Or maybe its just me, who fails in understanding that today, with dumbfucked minds who fail to question and curiosity is a deep buried feeling at the age of 3, it is impossible to for anyone to know what science is. I know, its my problem, chill.

When people say there's no point in living beyond 60, sure, dude, I don't even see the point of your living at any other age either in that case. If you live only to earn, party, earn for kids and retire, that sounds like another duty hanging over your shoulders. The point of living seizes to exist, when you stop living your life, be it 20, 30 or 60. I can only urge you to find your own meaning of life, find what drives you everyday, no, not your crush or parents or anyone else, but your dream of being someone who can make a difference. What would your dream or aspiration be ? A fading dust particle in the sands of time, or the one whose castle lasted enough to light the hearts of many. And when you give me an argument, you don't see anything so bright, all I can do, is give you a patient smile, in hope you'd find your answer. But when you become adamant in your own side of argument without the other person's perspective, well, Shut the fuck up, because sometimes you just don't live for your own selfish existence, there are others roped in with you. But maybe it is really my problem, claiming such ideas in the first place. So chill.

Oh, and most epic, when people say they are bored !!!! What the fuck ? O_O
In this exponentially expanding universe, and the limitless mysteries that lie deep within and you haven't even begun to scratch the surface of it, let alone even science, not even tried sketching, painting or developing a new skill, enrolling for a course, writing articles, how can you even be remotely BORED ?!?! But wait, I really forgot everyone is so busy being bored, that I am the very stranger who claims being bored is an impossibility. I know, its my problem, so chill.

Now, why did I even end up writing this ? Well, because I went through one of my Shut-the-fuck-up moments again. Is it bad ? Nope, not at all. It helped me type an article I can always review time and again and allow myself to chill in the very end :P

Because life isn't just about you and me,
And our electrons aren't in the same energy level and never will be,
We can never feel the same way,
And I don't blame you in anyway..

Its now time for me to Shut the Fuck up,
Because I know its my problem,
Just gotta chill :P

Irritated enough !

Irritation happens.

Well, there are more than 10,105 things that can irritate you literally like hell, and I just wanted to list out a few :

1. When you are bursting out angry at something, and your cell phone suddenly beeps with a  message, thinking it to be something important you open the message that reads ::  “hot sunny leone pics, go to this website to download” I mean what is the problem with these people, I am NOT interested in the your bikini models  or pics of sunny leone (who should rather be named sunny loin !) 

2. When you silently wait at the metro station for your friend, reading a book, and a fat policeman comes up to you saying you are being watched by CCTV (So what, I can see that camera right above my head, don’t I have a right to wait ?) and that you can read your book somewhere else when only a foot away, a couple has been ogling at each other for the past whole hour and you wonder why can’t he ask them to leave or wait his “CCTV” didn’t capture it.

3. When auto rickshaws or rickshaw walas look at your face first before they mention the fare rate as if the fare rate is plastered on your face and varies for every different person, a blast of hindi slang is what sets them right. 

4. When you are waiting for red light to turn green amidst hundreds of cars around you, and one by one each one opens his car door to spit out his paan-peek or disgusting mucus. Yes, why not, Indian roads are indeed free for all, to throw anything and everything at them, be it kurkure packets, or paper or your own saliva, its our trademark style of leaving our mark in the world you see.  

5. When you sit in a class, and the teacher has no idea of what she is teaching. When your questions are met with “I’ll answer you in next class” and that next class never comes, the semester ends and teacher goes away too.

6. When you see those new-in-the-city-gals trying too hard to be “mod”. Heavy lipstick, off shoulder almost-transparent tops and braless hanging boobs, overlarge earrings and even smaller shorts. I am sure it wouldn’t hurt them if they covered themselves to certain decency. Take a break, I suggest. I am not a fashion critique nor an orthodox moral police but its a sincere suggestion for your own good.

7. When your best friend stops listening to you no matter how hard you try to explain to her in different ways and tones hoping she’ll understand, but you end up realizing you are beating your head against a solid impenetrable wall.

8. When  you finally think you still have years ahead to be someone in life, and the news flashes with 17-year old boy who entered the Olympics or 13 year old who joins the med school, or 11 year old kids doing perfect splits and pirouettes and contemporary, or kids who got their books published or the young artist who had an exhibition yesterday, and here I was thinking I still had time to be someone. (What was I doing in these past 20 years, I wonder) 

9. When you see those beaming smiles of people who look like 30 on pink sheets which are advertising their coaching institute and you realize, that they are actually those who got some rank somewhere who are supposedly your age. And the way your parents start giving second thoughts on what your future is going to be like.

10. When you are sitting in an examination hall, during summer, and heat exasperates your wits, you see the examiner drinking cold drink in front of you, and in another second she takes out cold waterlemon pieces, as though she’s come on a summer picnic, while you struggle more with the formulae in your head and heat that makes your brain work slower.

11. Sitting in metro, comfortably enough, till you realize, someone pushing in to sit in the 2cm gap they just saw between you and the person seated next you. Yes, we Indians use space very effectively, not to forget buses are one place where men no matter how old or young tried hard to push against you (reasons for which I believe castration for such men is justified duly.)

12. When you get stuck up at wedding party of some dad’s distant colleague, and all you’ve got to do is put up fake smiles to everyone you meet, be it aunties who are ready to bitch about you the moment you turn your back, or drunk uncles who can’t differentiate whether you are dad’s daughter or wife.

13. When you are hanging out with a friend (or mistakenly think so) because that friend is more busy doing facebook, than talking to you and you seriously think you should be facebooking her to get out of it.

14. When you are sitting in a movie hall, and some idiot's phone rings who might have forgotten put his phone on silent, but you realize he's an even  bigger idiot, who starts talking loudly on the phone about some shit as if he owns the cinema hall. Indian decency such as this is most admirable, ain't it ? Yea, we so love to hear a croaking voice in the middle of a suspense scene.

15. When you realize that you end up idling a lot of your time when you could’ve been doing something constructive, and that’s how I’ve just realized I must stop my list here. 

See ya’ folks,

I now depart,

Hoping I do not encounter “things-that-irritate-me-most” … 

Wish you a similar “irritation-free” day !

;) 

:P

The Procrastinator's diary

Not really a Day.

It’s all the same, with variations of about 15% …: morning wake up is a fight with sleep, but mine’s somewhat peculiar, at times I do wake up but somehow realise that I still have time, so I tell myself to continue dreaming and I want to keep dreaming cause its filled with adventure and you never know what’s going to come up next but somedays I literally woke myself up cause aliens started to take over the world and filled every cm of earth like cockraoches, yes that was scary. Anyway moving on, if it’s a college working day, half your problem of going through the day is solved. But if it isn’t, the morning feels fresh and you prepare yourself up to complete the whole syllabus in one day. So you go for a shower, the only place that gives you respite from burning heat of delhi summer (even though it lasts a few minutes). Breakfast with parents, and sometimes mom’s beautiful singing skills that somewhat permanently damage your ear is to  be heard without any objection. You retire to your room, ganged up with about 20 books on the bed and more in the cupboard, open registers call out your attention, and with great enthusiasm you pick up the smallest book visible, in my case R.Kumar, but that later turns out to be the saddest choice you made cause even the solved example you open, you get stuck up in the very second step. So stuck, that you don’t want to do anything else, you try to solve another question on a fresh page and get stuck up again, so you decide to refresh yourself up, though the refreshing part that was meant to last an hour stretches out to the whole day. Well, you see, even if you want to study, and slide through pages of the book, invariantly you just step into a dreamland, and its only when a knock on the door startles you that your realize you were asleep. So you think to do something more productive, and pick up a Sherlock Holmes book, and delve into it so much so that though you’d decided to read only about 10 pages end up reading half the book. You go into the dining room for lunch, which you finish up real fast, not knowing whatever the contents of the food are but are to ingest anyhow to not fall off starvation. The weather seems really overpowering and you don’t want to turn on the a.c cause the bucks would fly off, and you’ve been secretly saving money for your dance workshop. Then the food, air, and books do so much that you are insisted upon a nap by your body who promises to be in prefect shape after the powerful nap. And yes all along through the day, the netbook next to you calls out to check up fb once in a while. Anyway, once you finally doze of in the arms of soft pillows, time just dilates and there’s no sense of present world (certainly most charming thing about sleeping, when in the heart of heart you are an escapist) untill the loud cries of the little kids who come for tuition wake you up. And then finally you set yourself up for something constructive, books still look humongous, so you think a lecture online would do you good. You listen to the lecture with great interest and make notes, but you see the most interesting part is, it is nothing related to your syllabus, so that adds up to all the more fun. And then randomly you check out nasa page, uefa champion league score and fb (these recent weird cartoon character jokes are spreading pretty fast, but I feel pity for those professional cartoon artists,  wonder what would they be thinking… )  At times you sketch or photograph or dance about while making maggi and record your songs (which turns out to be the greatest mistake, cause your recorded voice sounds like trash)… Accepting defeat, you finally decide to sit and study for exams in a few weeks. And then your phone pops up with messages, some welcoming and some not so and it often happens with me that I finish my balance in messaging without realizing that my message card finished about a day ago. So by this time, its late evening and dad comes from office, so you’ve got to greet him, and then comes pouring down of questions of what you did throughout the day (something that really makes you introspect about the whole day) … and after he leaves your room, you decide to pick up the book, but the attractive nat-geo issue on the side, pulls you to atleast flip through the breathtaking photographs of K2 and titanic (check out april issue, after about a hundered years, finally lights are “on” and detailed pictures of titanic are now in light), now you can’t help but read that article that invites you to dive into the depths wherein titanic sunk. You then wander off into the worlds of icebergs, or cameroon’s flim making, or thinking about the titanic 3D that’s coming up and you must watch, till suddenly you hear shrieks from few floors below (yeah, I live in flats, so that’s something frequent) then you hear the whistle of the steam cooker and your know its time for dinner. And arnab is constantly shouting out questions on tv. And you are transported back to the four walls wherein you stay; away from the dreamland of shimla trip of Sherlock and icebergs of artic or the Doppler shift of delta leporis. And just about when you start to get into your cribbing mode about the cage you are bounded to and the Indian education system, you realize that there is no point whatsoever and find some solace in writing out a diary like this. At times you get reminded of people who are maybe too busy doing some other work, so you concentrate your thoughts on something meaningful, but everything meaningful seems to deviate very largely from my current syllabus completion and things-to-do list. My day ended that fast, see…. And now, I am finally thinking to start off my studies though somewhat realizing that I am a day late again. 

Just woke up after another dream...

No more a Juliet in dreamy lands that end up having a Juliet sorta death with Romeo turning out to be too tried of drama :P 

Here are the list of who my next guy (if ever exists in this lifetime of mine shall be) ::

1. Knows a lot about physics, doesn't go blank when I say something about the crab nebula 6500 light years away or thinks of photon as what’s written on the tata-photon+ 3g net card.

2. Comprehends my unending thought train, in and about everything from psychological theories about social structures to parallel universes to science of dreaming to bio-mechanism of the eye and so on. Rather than finding me weird.

3. Deeply interested in poetry, literature, art, music, dance, photography, making documentaries or a new field of creative exploration and expression.

4. Not the I-met-you-last-night-I-fell-for-you (adrenaline junkie, who awaits the rush of a beginning of a relationship for he’s been lacking one) who later turns out to have enjoyed his share and leaves. When in senses, realizes his commitment-phobia. 

5. Not the I-shall-die-for-you (obsessive and overprotective) guy who plans to marry you, no matter how he treats you, cause you shall be the only one, whether he abuses you, plays with you, uses you, you shall turn out to be a worn out cushion bag by the end of it.

6. Not the I-fear-to-hurt-you guy who’s ready to sacrifice himself for he believes you shall be better off, or just can’t face, cause you are too good. And leaves thereafter.

7. Adventure sports should be his game, bungee jumping, biking mountain roads, trekking, rafting and so on, also apart from that should atleast be good at swimming, skating, basketball and badminton. Plus interested in watching football, oh yes, should be good enough to teach me football and not just kicking the ball.

8. Not a bloated-with-pride guy, but down to earth, concerned for public, also politically aware of things around him.

9. Not a sexually frustrated guy who watches porn day in and day out.

10. Doesn't smoke or do drugs.

11. Girls have never been such an integral part of his life, till he meets me. 

12. Writes and reads.

13. Basically should be intellectually challenging and stimulating and also at the same time “human”.

14. Most importantly, should’ve known me and been my best friend atleast for a minimum of 2 years.

Though I wouldn’t want the guy to have won the nobel prize, or the oscars, or in national team or so (ah, though that’d be a really nice starting point, but nah, he’d be too up in air with those credits in his pocket) but well, just another person, who shall be atleast at par with me, I am not an academy award winner or so, but neither am I the girl-next-door. I’ve learnt my lesson in due time, and I write this not just very logically, and intuitively but also with experience. Rather a note as a reminder for me, the next time I get into some trouble and a guy lingers around me, and I fall into my own trap of fairytale drama land only to wake up with the world having sped at the speed of light, whilst I stare at my dusted-self. And maybe in this list, I might have already denied 99% of men population to be my suitors. I still am firm on my list, and amendments can be made according to the situation but no more than 5% of already what there is.  And did I just list that down, cause I wanted to sit and admire these qualities ? No. I myself, am an explorer, who does, all that is listed above and a bit more, but of course, without recognition, and am I too bloated to be saying all out that about me ? No, just self-respect, stating all that I look for in someone is nothing more uncommon than it should be to me. And I’d very happily say, I am perfectly happy on my own, and wish to be that way for long now. But if ever another guy pops up, dreamily thinking of me, I’d be rather happy to tag him in this note XP

Sorry, I am NOT available. 

Happy friendship day :P

Glad to be your friend forever !

A DAY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE…

We hear of life-changing events in people’s lives, much of it comes when one encounters the most unexpected situations, but for me, today was that very day that altered the way I look at life or the slightest complacency that I ever had about my  existence. And if ever, I had the slightest doubt in the existence of god, all of it, just vanished into thin air this very day, 6th January 2012.

Every moment I breathe seems a blessing,

Every second I step without tripping is a blessing, 

Every laugh share with a friend seems a blessing,

Every walk of mine is a blessing....

The day started off in a perfect daily routine, of trying to fight myself from waking up from the warm blanket that soaked me in, on a cold winter morning, but the racing needles of the clock, set me up to dress up, and off I was to college. 

There was a letter to be posted by today positively at any cost, but I didn’t know if I’ll even get the letter, you see, I’d lost hope after several trials on getting it, but thankfully I did. But when I did, I had to rush to the post-office as it closes at 3. So having left a project discussion, I set off with my friend to the post office which was only 3 km away, a distance not so noticeable if one drove. Or so I thought. Having driven for 1.5 year, and on a road so frequently traveled, it was almost as easy as walking a few meters on a road that you travel by everyday. That, which should have taken about 15 min, took what seemed like a lifetime, when the clockwork of your brain just stops and no matter how hard your brain tries to work, it actually stops to work. 

Never having met with an accident before, today was my first one. And before I can start thanking every human form of god I met, I thank god that it was only a minor accident. You see, in this over-populated Indian society of today, every common man, seems to have a driver. The so called ‘elites’ have left the steering, and their pea-sized brains only like to laze on the backseat and leave the beauty of driving and the beauty of the car, to a driver who only knows how every accelerator, brake, and clutch works. I don’t even know why they buy these beautiful cars when they don’t even know how to drive, taking a caravan on street would’ve been better, if all they wanted was to sit back and laze. But alas ! The beauty of the cars and the beauty of driving can only be felt by those who have tried or have the slightest sensitivity to their surroundings (which I say has a negative growth in the materialistic and hypocrite world of today). They have handsomest Audi, but they spit out paan on the road, ashes of cigarette, and packets of chips. To a world that doesn’t care for its own roads, what much do expect of any care for the people on the streets. But apart from my everyday glimpses of the painted rich, there’ll always exist  insolent glares of men, apparent F1 drivers with loudest music that’ll explode their cars, or the ever slow grandmom driving on the DND while a whole traffic forms behind her. Having faced these everyday roads, the good and not so good moments. Nothing could ever replace the pleasure of driving. Swishing past, the wide road, while the water and clouds combined to form one, and you tunnel through it, (through the DND road over Yamuna) or driving 40 km with heels at 8 pm or having driven through absolute blinding fog with little blinker lights or having driven through traffic jams on a flyover (on the ascending side, when you have just learnt driving, and you just can’t figure out how can you leave the brake and accelerate and trust that gravity doesn’t take over you too fast :P ) or the way driving becomes a part of you just like breathing. Feelings that could never be truly defined, but etched its mark in your everyday routine, that you just can’t let go off. And no matter, how much you’d shout out at people who lost their steering wheel to adrenalin, you would still want to wake up the next day, and drive. :)

However, everyday isn’t as pleasant as the previous, or as predictable as one would want. And today was one of those very days. A fancy elitist car was driving slowly behind the auto in a decent speed while I was on its right, so having taken a right turn I slowed down, like I slow down at every turn, like every other person should. But the driver found maybe a gap of about 2 cm between the auto and me, which to him seemed like a 100 feet, so there it went, at bolting speed, passing through a gap that it hardly could, accelerating from 10km/hr to about 40 km/hr in a matter of a few seconds. And that, of course didn’t go well with my car !! Alas ! My brake and my speed were decent enough, but there, went my bumper, out on the road, dangling with one end on the road and the other still joined to the car. Like every hit and run case, the fat woman in the backseat only stared back with horror as the car further sped to 100 km/hr. Having too much on my head to think all at once, I switched on the blinker, stopped car, and came out to check the damage, a part of me was relieved that it was nothing major and that me and my friend were safe, but a part of me was tensed and horrified looking at the first ever harm to a car that I had driven for so long. I reached out for the phone and called up dad, I needed help, that was certain. But he wasn’t helping much either, apart from the consistent worrying and suggestions that I had already thought of. Me and my friend examined what all could be used to hold up that bumper, from muffler, to thread which could be found nowhere but in a bracelet that a childhood friend of mine had made for me, we tried to hold it up, the world still sped past, and people just glared and past by. But alas ! God has different forms, he is in every human, he, who helps, when nothing seems to work, when one tries to fight a dead end. He came with a strong plastic thread sorts, and that was all we wanted !! He tied it up so perfectly, that it was the perfect temporary hold I had ever seen. And we just stared and thanked him more than we ever could. I still thank him from the core of my heart, I wish him the best in life, and I pray his deeds be blessed. He came perfectly on time, the savior. And nonetheless, I had called up some friends whom I told to get a mechanic from the petrol pump. But our job was done, before they reached, and I sincerely thank my friends for being friends and being more than I could ever express my gratitude for. So I carefully drove till the post office, with the friend of mine, we posted on time, and as they say, everything comes crashing on one day, today was exactly the day I didn’t have money in my purse, but thankfully my friend had exactly the right amount of money that was required. Having posted, we reached the mechanic nearby, all thanks to my dearest friend who knew the place all so well, while I still gazed at the new roads and shops on street, we finally met the mechanic who told to get the car, and told it would only take about 45 min. Relieved, we walked back and took the car to the mechanic, and he dealt with it as a person deals with toys that he plays around with day in and day out, I was amazed by his skills, I was amazed by the recovery of what seemed to be horrifying, I was amazed by the love of my friend who stayed up with me from the time of crisis to recovery just for me and being the only guide in  what seemed like a strange island to me. And somehow I was just amazed by everything that had just happened. Somehow perplexed at start but acquiring peace that I had never felt before. The sense of relief that gushed through my blood, made everything look so beautiful, I was drenched in gratitude for all that I went through and all the help that I received. I became so humble, a state, which was just not a word, but a feeling of respect for everything that surrounded me. Of the life I lived, and people who made my life a life to be lived for. The little titter-batter of cribbing just ended, right there, when the bumper fell down. Now, every moment was filled with hope. Not expectations, not wants, not cries, just hope. Clear, calm and serene. 

Of all that I am, and all that I will be,

Is not my doing alone,

But of all the people and incidents that shaped me up,

To who I am,

And who I can be,

I am grateful for thee presence,

In every breath I breathe,

I am blessed to have friends who really are friends,

And humans whose entrance only for a second, is godly presence…

To thee above,

And to all humans with the purest heart I know,

I pray for everyone,

I pray for your well being, 

I pray that you be blessed,

The way you have blessed me with your presence… 

A day I will never forget, 

A day that changed my life, 

A day that reminded me of my transient being, 

A day that broke all my inching complacencies….  

Amen… 

Lovaria Maladies...:: WHAT DOES A GIRL REALLY WANT … ?

Guys for centuries have never understood the way girls think or react, and girls find it rather weird that they don’t even understand that much which is so very obvious… so this goes out to all the guys who wonder how the neural networks of a girl’s brain work and theirs just fuses or goes into a blank mode of “??” state… 

If you love a girl, then you should mean it, like really, mean it, and please don’t just keep those feelings buried too deep within your heart, for she’ll have a tough time digging it out, and would rather tire out…

So the next question of yours would be, how am I supposed to tell her that I love her, I really do, but she just doesn’t believe me… oh dear, first of all, when she says she doesn’t believe you, she actually is trying to take out what’s inside you, what you really feel about her, so that she is convinced of your stand… (and not literally what she says) … 

Now there are different ways in which you could please her, and be her man, firstly you should know what she likes and dislikes, in terms of food, color, movie, cloth, drama, politics, books, life and everything under the sun… No, no, don’t go questioning her with the above list like a kaun banega crorepati contest, rather learn about it by spending time with her, over the span of few months…

And oh, being The Bodyguard or chacha chaudhary’s Sabu is a big NO-NO. Give her space to breathe, have her social life, and study life and you shall be welcomed like a prince long missed…  yes, we know, she’s your world, and you just can’t let go off her, but then it’ll be like the bird in the golden cage, who at first loved to come back to you after every flight, but now caged would suffer in your own very loving arms… 

And you can do away with all the little white sugar-coated lies, that would rise her expectations or something, causes she seeks for you to be an honest judge yet not harsh on her, I know, tough job guys, but what you get, nothing else can replace…. 

And here comes the bonanza :: Girls Love Surprises !! And if you would’ve noticed, she’s tried to surprise you more than once but a girl’s heart is such, that her expectations only rise multifold…and so you must, reciprocate, even though she never says it blatantly on your face… Girls love to underplay, but then guys fail to see one step beyond… surprise her with flowers, hugs, kisses, surprise visits, or make something for her with your own hands… And no, you shouldn’t be the one paying all the bills, or gifting gifts of money power, she’d only smile, but she knows that it wasn’t something you made, and soon would tire of all that money buys… what she'd never tire of, and something with which her heart would smile, would be a gift you made….  If she loves you, she cares about you, and nah, that doesn’t mean that you make her pay all the bills all the time, rather share it 50-50 or alternate treats… 

And continue the little things that make love, love … all the little things that matter… smile to her that smile when you first fell in love with her, sing to her even if you aren’t a singer, dance with her even if you don’t know an ‘s’ of the salsa… write to her letters, surprise her with an old picture of the two of you, make a memory chit box of all that you two shared, dress up as a clown one day (nah, not in public, she’d rather run away, but do the futterwhack when no one is around), paint for her, photograph her, whatever that comes naturally to you… and the way you feel… let it out, and express it with love, for after all, ain’t she the one you love ? Don’t you want to let her know what you feel for her, or will you let her do the guessing game with your mind, that rather turns out sour… 

Cause in the end, she is your princess, so crown her with all your love… 

P.S :: this note is for guys in relationship, but unable to figure out what his girl wants, and oh,statuary warning for guys ::  beware of girls who don’t take out their purse for any meal or call you up only when they want to shop :P (love is way away in a far island for you, dear boys, for thou art their atm in cases like those.) and neither this is for “desperate homeboys seeking love”  :P 

And of course, they’ll always exist the stereotypes of life-size teddy bears, plastic white teeth smiles, and partners of sex and break-ups … nor is this note meant for them… To them, I salute, for they’ve found peace in no-love-shove-jhamela…. :P (an uptrend skill in the 21st Century you know… )

Celebrate love, 

Its like an everyday festival that makes you smile…

So Happy b’day to lovers, and dreamers, and retired lovers … 

Cause love infects, whether you like it or not… 

PDA.... give it a break.. !! :P

I bet you seen it in almost every corner of every place, quite literally I must say. But doesn’t it make you flinch, and stare at them incongruently… I mean I don’t know if that’s my specific problem or if people actually think the same way as I do… but hell yea, I am repulsed when I see these couple-dolittles walking hand in hand, where the girl is more concerned that if the sparkles of her skirt are still shinning, and the guy walking like a hunk, trying to act cool… or when you see them in the metro compartment almost into each other… people give it a break… wish they realize what public places or public transport means… and then most of the times the girls are cribbing about what’s with their life or people around them, while the guy tries to act as though he’s listening patiently… I don’t understand why people can’t just be who they are… with our without anyone… and yea, another fact, people seem to have lost their identities too, if you meet some friend of yours, the girl or guy standing next to them would be introduced as girlfriend or boyfriend rather than them having a name and that they happen to be together… Yes, sometimes I see, rather most of times I see people go out just for the fun  of it or because they couldn’t resist puberty changes in them… somehow, I try to analyze and then I see, how insecure they are themselves that they want to lean on someone… without realizing their own identity… Girls are stuck to the phone day and night, laughing and getting shy without realizing that the guy isn’t looking at her… or the guy checking out on the girlfriends’ friends and girls who pass by… what are they trying to pretend or who are they trying to fool, I know not…

But of course, there are those ones too who make you smile, ones who make feel you need one too, those ones, who are themselves, and not all so gooy or fake… those ones who make you see, what relationships actually mean… but those are definitely rare cases, like one in 10 metro stations… :P , and mostly in dreams and movies… 

But apart form that, I think people need to grow up, to realize what relationships actually mean, and not because if two people are of opposite sex, so they are bound to be together… Relationships are more than just kisses and hugs, more than the fancy gifts and life size teddy bears, relationships happen when you can understand one another, talk about the universe, laugh together, crazily fool around and yet enjoying every moment together…  its about the perfect balance, that if too sweet becomes too hard to take or too much salt loses its taste… its not just about making out and breaking up, its more about working it out, even if doesn’t feel perfect, its about waiting and believing for things to change, its about giving it a try till you are exhausted by its very presence… its about being yourself and being in love rather than not even knowing who you are… its about finding peace and solace rather than a few seconds of infatuation…

Its about loving someone’s soul, rather than his face… its about realizing your own mistakes and rectifying, its about accepting what’s around you and in you….

In the end, its all about you… 

Educate...

I’ve been thinking about it day and night, trying to figure out where the problem lies, trying to seek for a root cause… it’s almost the hundredth time, I’m seeing singhvi trying to explain the congress’s stand, and the bjp counterpart arguing on how much the government lacks governance and the excited journalist, posing questions to excite the two parties against each other with another specialist on the topic of discussion… A different day, a different topic, but the same scenario… the journalist, just can’t believe or understand that people don’t understand common sense… that politicians are more busy about their own lives than the main cause, and that the public is too tired to try to understand what’s happening where, and that people’s understanding limit is just “out-of-scope” …. 

You see, the main problem lies, in understanding that the other person can’t see your perspective, cause that person isn’t tuned to your neural settings, and of course, no matter how hard you try, there’ll always be some things, that you have to sort out yourself, or be at peace with it… now, that’s talking about just normal human psychology.. But when I am talking about a larger picture, I’m talking about something like, common sense isn’t common sense to everyone, and what you see, is what others can’t… you know, you’ve heard all these ceremonious claps when people give a lecture, or say that how “they, themselves are responsible, rather than blaming anyone….yada…yada… ” .. Well, yes, we, as a society as a whole ARE responsible, but let me ask you, that rather than making all these flashy, “so true” comments, how much have you done from your side, and that do you even know the root cause… ? Claiming about something, without knowing the root cause, is like climbing up a pine tree looking for coconuts… I mean really… and then when you sit down with them, you go about how people should do this and that, and I silently stare… thinking… trying to tell.. “those people don’t see, what you are trying to tell”… I know you’d be like “how can they not see… I mean its so obvious..”… well, the point I am trying to make is, all people haven’t been brought up the way you have… and you know, you see all these characterless people making the news headlines, well, its more cause they weren’t educated the right way… and if you see, people being more self-absorbed, treating on the basis of caste etc… or even spitting and peeing on the roadside… cause they just weren’t educated… from the very complicated politics to the very usual “ethics” of living… people are not educated enough… Yes, I mean education… Education, not in the words of learning how to read and write and pass tests… but education, as in being taught, a way of living, a way of existing in peace and harmony with surroundings… it’s not about poverty or overpopulation, (though it adds up to the stress), but mainly about being educated the right way… of gaining knowledge and finding solace in it… well, I can’t blame the students for it, cause you see, it is a very vicious downward spiral… of uneducated teachers teaching students what they think they know… and students aligned into doing what they should do, without questioning… (something that most parents assert since the time they were born)… now, uneducated doesn’t mean illiterate, it rather means, that they are not teaching for the fun of it, or for the joy of opening young minds to another world.. (most probably they too were never shown the way, and thus incapable of surpassing knowledge that they never knew of.. ) … its not about the salary or personal life, but more than that… more about the joy of work itself and not another burden… and that’s something that goes for all kinds of job that people do… but I’m focusing on teachers more, cause they directly affect a child from birth.. You see, being born, is a blessing, if one can make the best of it.. You see, the best part of being born is, there’s everything unknown, everything that can be learnt in any way you like… almost any way that you can be mould to… but the beauty lies in the sculptor, but if the sculptor is no sculptor at all, then you end up with unfinished works that lead to disarrayed lives… sometimes, I see those parents sending their children school, hoping that the children would gain knowledge and be something “big” or take them off their plight… but you see, what is being taught, isn’t actually being taught at all… they are only fed with information to memorize, and nothing to look forward or delve into… and even all those fancy schools, with those amazing infrastructure, A.Cs and top class technology… I am not sure, if the human resource itself is as classy… 

Seeing the larger picture, being who you are, seeing more than just the mundane workings of people, understanding ethics, cause it comes naturally to you…. And discussing, questioning, living … !!! That’s what’s education is about !!! Of being able to comprehend.. And common sense being more common to everyone… it all starts from the very beginning… from the very day you step into the world of consciousness… of being able to tune yourself to the existing frequencies of “having a character” and an identity…. Of respect and worth… and now, we can’t just go around blaming all the teachers of the world with the assigned job of a “teacher” cause infact you are a teacher itself, the moment you surpass an information or something that instigates the person you are talking to, is teaching in itself.. Of interaction… of sharing… of existing… !! So yes, everyone is responsible, but this time, I hope you see why …..

So educate… Educate the ones around you, educate them about things they do not know, or haven’t known, it maybe difficult for students of older age, but can nevertheless give it a try… and never miss any opportunity to share any knowledge you have or would like to spread… 

Educate, cause it means more than just literacy… 

I howl... !!

So, I was just looking through the Indian websites for summer projects, and got a sickening feeling while reading the eligibility criteria. Marks so n so n yada yada yada. And I was thinking to myself, why couldn’t they ask for a written essay and hold interview and review the student’s profile. Oh yea, that requires too much of hard work and Indians are bound never to such a thing, its not inbuilt in their character you see. And that tracked me back to my life in science in the Indian system. Maybe its worth writing a book, to talk about it, but surely there’ll be a billion cries about how good the Indian education system is and undergraduate studies are best (believe me, there are people who tell me that each day and all my reply to them is a questioning stare with a sarcastic ‘yes’). Maybe I am stuck up in a haphazard mess, of wrong time, wrong place, wrong people and everything wrong but that sets me into thinking that how can everything be so wrong and that leads me to thinking “Am I the one who is wrong all this while ?? ” …. I wonder, I seriously wonder about my existence and its purpose and wonder if people ever wondered about it too or are they just other creatures and machines bound to their everyday routine, bereft of creative thinking. I think I am surrounded by too many people belonging to the latter category in a place where there should have been none. When you first enter the doors of college, of a step further into the big world, believing to be entering into an adventurous ride, brimming with curiosity and pumped with enthusiasm, you don’t really expect yourself to slammed by dusted, directionless roads. First, the “Indian education system” fucks up your marks, then the cut-off marks rather slit your existence by a variation of 0.1% . Then you finally get into a college, you hope to make  friends and maybe the initial letdown wouldn’t have hurt so much, if at all you could carry yourself throughout along with your war of weapons of your desired subject. And seek for other warriors too. And initially, there are those who pose themselves to be such warriors but aren’t any. And even if u gave them the weapons, they would discard it away. No, I don’t have any grudges against them, but only a question as to why did they even opt to fight a battle when they didn’t want to fight. Let alone these warriors, the teachers, who could turn the tables upside down, inspire the warriors to pick their swords, turn out to be drained souls, bereft of joys of exploration and understanding. Studies were never about the chalk and blackboard, but they were a way of imparting knowledge of the universe we know till now, chalk was only a mean to sketch what you saw, when you couldn’t find anything in real that could explain what you tried to say. Yet, people got stuck to this fascination of chalks and laziness, where everything could be imagined even though they existed in real, the generator with the shaft couldn’t be identified or measured in scale, cause what they had known was only a rectangular plate between two blocks named as north and south pole of magnets about the size of half of a page of the answer sheet. And even when you want to discuss those engineering marvels you saw on nat geo last night, you’d only be confronted with questioning stares and blank faces. Let alone the voyage into space, the realities that surrounded them were just a manifestation of the unreal for them. It’s never just about the numbers you see, or the infinite derivations you rot, its something way deeper, of why it actually came and its significance. Fine, you rot, you score, you are the best machine that can memorize and write, but what about tomorrow, what would it be, when you are to discover, when you are to write by yourself, when are to think for thou self, oh yea, who bothers, cause you are more concerned about that mba degree you are going to get and the big fat salary that lures you from distant. Have you even ever like ever thought of what you are doing and why ? What does living actually mean to you ? Is it just to feed your greed and wants, and comply to the orders and wants of another homo sapien, or do you actually have a stand in this world ? And an individual identity… Does living only comprise of everyday booze and directionless days… haven’t you opened your eyes yet, or are your eyes smudged by the cataract of ignorance ? … Or Maybe I’m just tired… tired listening to cry babies, those crying for marks and those crying about how they have been pushed into science… if you never liked it, why take it, you had a choice, yes, the Indian system sucks, but that no way poses you to take the decision you’d want.. Sadly, even the meaning of science has been distorted into shreds of geek stories and the tag of a “sciency” cried by the ones who aren’t. And not just about science, I speak for those in humanities and commerce too, when how disgusted feelings arouse to see ever so increasing numbers of people who don’t know what they are doing, and claim to have a subject even when they don’t. thus, before you speak, know what you want to say, before you act, know what you are doing, and before you commit, know where you are heading to. But sometimes, I think my words go to deaf ears, and what I see, is something others just can’t, no matter how hard I try to explain, I’m afraid how many will really understand. Maybe my words would be misjudged as those of another cry-baby hating her life, and maybe my words would be just mocked as another weird cry. But, I howl, I howl in pain, I howl to the world out loud and tell them to stop and seek within.. I howl to find more companions in my mission to start the change, and it ain’t as though I just sit and howl, I’m digging my way into a deeper world of unexplored ventures and risked paths, cause I dare, I dare to dream admist the brackish fumes of ignorance and egoism. I dare to aspire beyond the barbered wires of rejections and forced failed attempts. I seek for a world, beyond today, I believe in a world of people who can truly see and hear words of one another, and appreciate the living in a cosmos, that never could have been ours....

Existence of God... and other things....

From the day we step into this world, we seek for dependence on parents, for they stand as our support, then we eventually grow, and our sphere of dependence (friends, family, relatives etc) also grows involuntarily. And in atleast a typical Hindu family, we sit in front of the deities join our hands and pray. What my question is, what is this prayer actually? Is it placing our insecurities about future in hands of someone supreme? Is it to ease the burden of responsibility we hold? Is to blindly follow a religion for it has been believed for centuries now? Or is it to tune down our ego that seems to pump bigger and bigger each moment? Everytime I hear people asking something or the other to god, but explain to me who is this god really? I do have respect for all elders and love for all, but does that inadvertently make me a God-follower, cause who is God? Someone you can’t see, but can feel? Well, that’s actually dark energy, you know… But really have we created some form ourselves on whom we can bundle up all our worries, insecurities and uncertainties? Why then is astrology so famous? Because we find it easier to blame someone else for things we did, politics is a wonderful example, also “Pechle Janam ka Raaz” series and God is always there to take in your blame rubbish, but somehow we lose one major part of ourselves, we lose our character that is the ability to own up responsibility responsibly. Why then Indians have such a big character-problem, well of course there are many reasons too, like over-population etc. But it’s just one of my theories you see. 

Well, I think if something happens, it just happens, things don’t go about the way you set your expectations, of course, you can do your best in order to achieve high probability of what you want, but what you want is not always what you get. And that’s the beauty, the uncertainties that make life such an exciting adventure: exciting, thrilling, ecstatic. But if you do pursue what you really want with utmost desire, your brain automatically starts to work in a similar process, chemicals I guess and alas! A eureka moment shall be on its way. It’s difficult to understand how the brain works, but surely introspection highlights our hindsight knowledge about things within us and around us. But really sometimes, things just happen in such a way, that we are left clueless why they should’ve happened, but after years or so, sometimes when we introspect we are just amazed by the beautiful pattern that was created, as though we were the ponds of a chess game and someone else was playing with us perfectly fine. 

Or maybe that’s just an extrapolation of my logic; to the wonderful things life gifts us each day. Sometimes; a bird’s rhythmic chirp, the cold blow of air swishing past your cheeks, drops of shower that tickle through your skin, an ant’s amusing behavior, the delicacy of petals that hang by a flower, peace in solidarity, flow of paint through the blank sheet, the cuteness of a little puppy, the weightlessness in deep waters, the sense of belonging when you’re surrounded by green woods, the carpet of flowers and leaves during autumn: well, all of these are just a small list of the infinite things that make you just happy, innocently happy, wonderfully happy, just plain happy which makes you smile, and laugh a little laugh involuntarily. Because sometimes you just feel, you’re a part of this beautiful cosmos, and you’re an entity of this cosmos; or maybe even when you’re not really thinking, it’s just an overwhelming feeling. Oh! Then comes the adrenalin rush: the excitement, the high: biking through steep slopes of a mountain, bungee-jumping, para-gliding, rafting through ice-cold ruffling waters, tackling the football past several defenders and scoring the crucial goal, excitement when you look up at the Hubble images of the cosmos or just plain exhilaration in understanding the mysteries of particle physics, or the feeling of skipping a heartbeat when you were talking to someone: now this too is a small list of many other things that make you feel on a high, excited and thrilled, I believe it’s mainly because of the large amount of uncertain factor that makes it special. So thus this human brain is certainly complicated, weirdly wired, incomprehensive, and interesting. And it prevents me from analyzing it further, rather confuses me as to what it is, how and why? 

All I’m left to say is, we are who we are, we do shape ourselves, and believe it or not but we do have an inbuilt consciousness, that helps us guide through difficult times, and I don’t see a reason as to why should we have to depend on someone else, we should be responsible enough to handle our responsibilities effectively. Well, if you ask me what are these responsibilities, then you should go ahead and ask yourself aka introspect, consciousness shall guide you, just keep that flame burning, principles stand strong, they shall be with you to the very end. The light, the flame is within you, don’t extinguish or ignore it. Carpe-diem!!! ^_^ 

Listen Up !

Okay…. So I’ve always wanted to address this issue but never really got the time or the right frame of mind to put it all down. It started with a joke about a women’s stupidity that my friend forwarded me. Yeah, it was a funny PJ, nothing to be serious about right. Yeah, but disturbingly, there was a pattern I noticed, sex->women, less intellectual->women, talk more + think less->women, guided by emotions-> women, shopping->women, the dependent lot->women; and it was disturbing because not all women are what they are tagged to be. There are tags we don’t want; I want you to notice me as an individual, and not be seen by the paradigm glasses you wear. I am frustrated by what I see -> insecure girls who poster themselves the way others want them to be, men whose brains are controlled by the lower half of their body, media that seems to go crazy if some woman went naked, posters, banners, rape, trafficking -> I want to scream out, shout-> STOP, PAUSE, PLEASE JUST STOP…. Listen to what I have to say … STOP destroying the image of women, it’s none of your business, to play with others’ lives, and if you do portray something, do know that the audience isn’t educated enough or sensitive enough to realize the borderline between art and porn. And filmmakers, please have men who dance at pub naked when u show it in the movies, (then you’ll know the kind of criticism you face)… because it is uncomfortable to sit in a movie hall with hundreds of eyes glued to the big screen girl moving around, and Prakash Jha, women are not meant to be somebody’s wives for the only purpose of producing kids. And I feel frustrated to know that those saas-bahu, women-playing-mean-tricks, man-of-the-house serials still exist!! Ding-dong, we live in the 21st century!! Next time, I don’t want to hear from you, she is so n so’s wife…. Excuse me, who is she? Yeah I know she happens to be his wife… but who is she? And parents, (though most of us have been lucky enough) but there still exist parents for whom, daughter is a property, that’s sold at a bargain-able or at times fixed price, moved from house to house, just another item on the list, STOP! Humans are humans are humans and not objects. Neither are they objects of sex. And women -> please be independent, work just like another man. There is no difference, we are homo-sapiens. Men are not ATMs; you owe yourself a living and nobody else! Women! If you can’t work hard, then don’t work cheap, in your hands lie the image of women that exist across the globe. Men! Stop! Stop staring at that girl; she’s not what you saw on HT-CITY, and goddamitt she’s an individual, a homo-sapien just like you, stop your sick mind, stop your sick jokes, stop laughing, it isn’t funny, you are distorting the true picture. Don’t stay in compliance saying,”That’s truth, it can’t be changed, and it’s how it has always been!!!”… SHUT UP! Your compliance makes things worse. Change is what we can do, change our attitude, speak up against things that disturb you, aware the ones around you… It’s high time, I deserve equal respect, I deserve my freedom, and I deserve to be observed as any other individual -> untagged.

Women! Men! Media! Friends! STOP AND INTROSPECT PLEASE… you are disturbing my sleep. 

"Excuse Me"

They told me to write on a "current" topic.

Well, I’ve got a hundred topics spinning in my head, rather I think “current” is a relative term. What may seem new today would get stale by the very next day. Each day we pop up with the most “interesting” news, incredibly happening only in India. Lets see, How about the politicians blaming the nuclear deal waste to have come from outside but silenced after realising that homeground capital was responsible. Or media frenzy over Shohaib-Sania, poor souls whose lips tired of putting up fake smiles. Or Tharoor walking off admist all confusion, leaving behind his trademark style of causing upheavals of quarrels in parliament, keying the disclosure of IPL politics. Or endlessly hoping that something constructive yet to be done by talks between India-Pakistan, that still remain photographed in Hand-shake. Or CRPF themselves providing ammunition to Maoists. Or the “Save Tiger” campaign just becoming a poster. Or the humdrum of politics that seems to be only concerned about power…

But I’ve got something to tell you, something that ought to be told, something that one shouldn't turn a blind eye to. No, its not a “breaking news” that talks about milk containing formalin or villagers attacked by a bear. Its something that goes unheard, unheeded, untold.

You can print the big eye-catching advertisements of tutors, coaching centers that conform you a ticket to the best college. You can print the names of the best colleges, measure it in terms of infrastructure quality, faculty and what not. (The truth is, it is measured by the difficulty level of entrance exam.) But what you fail to see is what lies behind these big words. Rather I shall say we, the society.

Did we ever see a child cry to his sleep wishing he won’t get up to face the cut-throat competition. Did we ever realise the immense pressure we mount upon a child. Did we ever give a second thought that asking a child’s marks is equivalent of mocking or are we busy placing ourselves on the totem pole. Did we ever seek the sensitivities within us that lie unexplored. Did we ever stop for a moment to think if our child was actually getting educated admist the maddening rush…

Every year, lakhs of students get caught up in this competition frenzy, and thousands of coaching centres start up their business, for them each student is nothing but a packet of money (about 2lakh p.a. is their fees). Now imagine the kind of money they earn with thousands herded in one stingy place, like sheep herded into a room tagged with an identification no.. And every year thousands of students get caught up in this maze. It doesn't seem far when nursery kids would be trained to clear IIT-JEE. (And equally willing parents will get their kid admitted). Deluded by the glory of college, you slog and wear yourself out to the extent that you become a machine, solving each question that’s given to you. (In the end, the machine that’s fastest wins).

Now tell me are you even looking for humans? Do you even want to cultivate young minds? It’s a plain and simple answer -> NO! Cause it doesn't matter what kind of a person you are, it doesn't bother to you if we are interested in a subject, it doesn't matter if we are good at art, music or literature. The only thing that matters to you is whether we can “SOLVE” the questions printed on the question paper, and in the process we get trapped in the riddle of insanity. Why is it that the best colleges (of the world) have an actual comprehensive test, while we get stuck up to solve some 3rd year B.Tech questions (when we are still in school) And amazingly a high percentage of people actually appreciate this system! Where toppers (in the eyes of society, cause by chance he managed to get most of the questions correct in comparison to others) thank their school for support (a.k.a absence from school) and parents! I should rather stay mum about that! People have got air about marks, rank, marks, rank, marks, rank and that's  all!?! Where are we heading to? Can someone please push the pause button? Cause people have no idea what they are doing or whats happening around them!!

I wish God himself would come and explain to these people, but I guess even he ain’t got so much patience… May all rest in peace (the unfortunate lie)… Amen… I rest my case…